You Cared
by senpaiii
Summary: Tobi was never quite sure how he felt about Deidara. Even as he watches his friend die before his eyes he still cannot reach a conclusion. Short oneshot. I guess you could call it TobiDei.


Deidara convulsed on the floor, shaking frantically. His cyan bright eyes had turned a cold colour of mist and they writhed around in his head uncontrollably, droplets of saliva ran from his limp hanging mouth and dripped down the side of his face, forming pools on the earthen ground. Sasuke shrieked with laughter a few feet away, the chidori lightning fading from his silver blade. Tobi kept his visible eye focused on his senior who lay on the floor jittering, a damp spread of blood moistening his Akatsuki cloak; leaving nothing but a dark stain on the cloth.

"I'm very sorry I had to kill your senior." Sasuke told Tobi with complete insincerity, pulling a mocking face at the now still body of the blonde missing-nin on the dirt ground.

Tobi glanced to Sasuke, speechless. The very moment Deidara was stabbed through the chest with the sword of concentrated electricity he knew it was over. "Don't worry about it." Tobi finally said, returning his solemn gaze to his now deceased friend.

Sasuke began to walk, his mind clouded with confusion. Why hadn't Tobi attacked? Why hadn't he made any effort to protect Deidara? The ebony haired boy shrugged it off, Tobi's childish and immature personality had become apparent the moment he introduced himself. Sasuke assumed he was perhaps too weak.

Back on the plain fields the masked boy remained rooted firmly to the ground, frozen with denial and… sorrow. For the best part of an hour he still didn't move. He watched Deidara's corpse intently trying to make out any signs of life. None came. The crimson blood had ceased spreading over his cloak, his eyes did not writhe and his mouth did not salivate. He was gone. He was gone and Tobi didn't know what to do or where to go. He was lost.

Pain had most likely heard about the passing of Deidara by now and fellow Akatsuki accompanists were probably on their way to retrieve the dead body. They wouldn't take long. Tobi had very short time left with his friend, his mind was swimming in disdain. Hesitantly he flopped to his knees and slid towards the corpse, hands shaking as he reached out for the pallid face of his… his friend. The masked one placed one balmy palm on the bitter cold face of the other missing-nin.

"Why didn't I help?" Tobi asked the empty air. "Why the fuck didn't I help?"

His silent, calm breaths turned ragged in his lungs as he repeated the question. "I could have saved him!" Tobi shrieked, fisting a blood ridden segment of Deidara's cloak. Hot tears brimmed his eyes; he used any will he had left to keep them from spilling out onto his face. "Oh Deidara, I'm so sorry." he cried, burying his sheathed face in the soaked frock. What Tobi felt for his companion, nobody – even Tobi – was sure. He was _certain_ that feelings definitely flew around the air every now and then but of course even if he had _loved_ Deidara, he knew Deidara could never love him back. As Tobi wept into the inert arms of his cold, lifeless friend he was struck with the sudden realisation that he was all alone. Not in the factor of presence but… Deidara was his only friend. The rest of the Akatsuki merely viewed him as a mascot, a nuisance, a child. Kisame, an older member of the faction, was always pleasant and polite to him but more often than not it was pity, as none of the other members cared for him much at all.

With a heavy sigh of exasperation Tobi returned to a standing position. Above him the cornflower blue sky started to darken to a grey colour, suiting Tobi's current mood. Rain started to fall; slowly at first. The bleak drops of dirty water started to slice the sky, pelting off of the orange mask, drumming a hopeless rhythm.

There was always the idea of the 'Life Transfer Jutsu' but procedures like that had to be negotiated amongst the other S-Ranks, Tobi was sure none of them held Deidara so high on their list of value that they would even bother. Then there was the issue of finding a person to willingly give their life away to a mere criminal of the world. In addition to those issues, other Akatsuki members would definitely be suspicious of Tobi's keenness to resurrect Deidara, seeing as the pair never showed any obvious bonds. It was a fruitless endeavour, one that the orange faced boy would rather not embark on.

Another few minutes passed - although in the harsh rain it felt like an hour - and Sasori made an appearance, along with Itachi. Sasori was another missing-nin from Sunagakure, it was rare to see him as his own person, he usually concealed himself within the hollow, wooden bodies of his puppets. Deidara and Sasori were very close friends, and their _relationship_ was often commented on. Although they denied any accusations of their alleged feelings for one another it was certain that _something_ was there. Tobi envied Sasori.

"Are you alright Tobi?" Itachi asked, immediately noticing how silent the younger boy was. Compared to his normal enthusiasm this was about as distant from normal you could get.

"I'm alright." Tobi replied bluntly making sombre eye contact with the Uchiha boy. He glanced to Sasori who stood with his eyes bulging from his sockets and rivulets of tears were spilling down his face. No noise came from his mouth, his breaths did not come out sharp and ragged, his cries were as silent as the downpour that surrounded them. Itachi placed an arm around Sasori's shoulders, in attempt to offer any form of comfort and Sasori only wept harder.

"How did it happen?" Sasori choked, his usual soft voice came out rugged and breathless.

Tobi didn't really care to clarify, but if anyone was owed an explanation it was Sasori. "Sasuke. Chidori spear through the heart."

Immediately the red haired, soft eyed one jolted himself away from the arm of the Uchiha, scowling with the tears dropping off his jaw. "Your bastard of a little brother!" Sasori cried. "I'll fucking kill him!"

"Hey I didn't spare his life for nothing; you won't be laying a finger on him." Itachi retorted sternly, glowering at Sasori with enflamed red eyes. "Come on, help me lift the corpse, it's fucking freezing out here."

_I probably could have done something. I could have helped. My trust in Deidara's strength made me believe that I did not have to intervene, but I underestimated Sasuke. And now it is beyond too late._

The clock on the wall ticked 3AM. Tobi glanced up from his foetal position and sighed, shoving a finger through his peek-hole and rubbing his irritated eye; which was now bloodshot red with water damage. His body had entirely shut down on him it seemed. His stomach did not groan in fatigue even though he had refused to fill it for hours on end, his mouth did not dry even though he had not drink and his head refused to throb, no matter how much cried. A farewell gathering was arranged in the temple of the house, however he did not attend. To be in a room full of people who could shrug off the death of a friend so easily wasn't Tobi's idea of a farewell.

Across the communal bedroom lay Deidara's messy, unmade bed; completely parallel to Tobi's own. Thin, golden strands of his sumptuous hair lay scattered over the pillows at the head of the bed. A few blobs of his detonating clay gathered fuzz on the floor. It was not special nor a miraculous scene but it was all Tobi had left of him. The callous feeling of loneliness began to creep into Tobi's head once again, it made his insides shrivel and his heart turn cold. Slowly he raised a hand to his chest and pressed lightly, _thu-thump, thu-thump._ It still beat in time but Tobi could not have felt more distant from anything. Until the bedroom door creaked open sending a thin beam of light slithering upon the shadowy floor and walls.

"Tobi?" a velvety voice whispered. Sasori poked his head in the gap between the wall and the door and peered inside. "You got a few minutes?"

As much as he wanted to say no he had to remember that Sasori was hurting just as much as him. It might have been good to spend some grieving time together. "Come on in."

Sasori flashed a quick smile before sliding inside and closing the door behind him, he tiptoed across the room and leapt onto the bed beside Tobi. The boy with the mask jolted at the sudden contact, Sasori chuckled and shimmied further up the bed. "Sorry about that."

Tobi gave nothing but a simple smile… which he realised Sasori couldn't see. "Oh it's fine." he spluttered, blushing from embarrassment under his disguise.

The red haired one only laughed a little more before diverting his gaze towards Deidara's bed. He frowned, with both his eyes and his thin lips. "It hasn't quite hit me that Dei's gone."

The surrounding atmosphere turned heavy; of course it was inevitable that his death was going to be discussed. Nobody had approached him about the subject all day and now for Sasori just to mention it without any caution. Tobi felt his throat clog at the very mention of his name, with all his force he gulped it back down and attempted a reply. "Me… me neither."

"I know you probably think it's so strange that I'd come to you about this but… I know none of _them _out there really care."

Tobi opened his mouth to speak but Sasori cut him off with a sentence that very well shook him to the core. "I guess I'm coming to you because Deidara really cared about you."

The lump was back. It clawed its way up Tobi's throat and lodged itself in his oesophagus, refusing to be choked back down to the pits of Tobi's stomach. Eventually he was able to answer. "He did..?"

"He really did. He often spoke about how funny you were and how had this overwhelming urge to just protect you." Sasori continued to say, misjudging the effect it was having on the younger boy. No words came falling from Tobi's normally loud mouth whilst tears spilled from his eyes. He hoped Sasori wouldn't notice. "I remember once Dei was saying about how he felt sort of like an older brother to you."

Tobi's face crumpled under his mask, he could do nothing but silently sob under his plastic covering. He was unsure up until this very moment but he was certain now; he did love Deidara. Although it was in a very different way than he'd first thought. Not the sort of _gay_ love. More like brotherly love and it was always _there._ From the very first moment they met their extremely conflicting personalities had clashed, leading them both to assume they'd hate one another. Surely enough something had clicked between the two of them, some urge to build a friendship and keep it that way. Even now, with Deidara gone, he was pleased with what he had discovered. He'd much rather it if Dei was alive but once again Tobi could sleep with content smile on his face knowing his senpai had indeed cared for him, befriended him, loved him.


End file.
